Figuring out things on your own can be a wonderful challenge. If you've ever bought furniture from IKEA, you know what I mean. There are a few moments during the initial set up of pieces, along with the instructions, when several things run through your mind. Some people make a few wrong decisions, but soon get it right. Others call for help as soon as they get the boxes home, realizing it's way too complicated and time consuming. And then there are some of us that just flop down on the floor, give up and call for help. Those of us that do this are not really giving up, we are merely calling out to the professionals in their field.We all know a friend or family member who has had great success with these do-it-yourself purchases and that's who we call on to help us. We don't return the item, we simply admit that we would rather be doing other greatly important tasks like soaking in a warm bath or changing the colour theme on our email. We make the call to our friend and by late that evening the corner shelf unit sits in the family room, awaiting books and other shelfy things. We are proud of our decision and strength we had to make that call, otherwise, we'd still be laying on the floor on-top of the supposed lost allen key.
I have had my share of challenges, as any Mom experiences. I've had 3 babies. All natural births, but had breastfeeding issues that involved cracked nipples and postpartum depression that resulted in the loss of my milk, and unfortunately a broken marriage. Although my family and friends were available and extremely helpful, I was alone with all the decisions. I had help yet I didn't help myself. I didn't think I needed more than what help was being offered.
I should have called the professionals such as the La Leche League and even the Public Health Nurse. I didn't realize until things came crashing down on me, that I needed more than I had imagined. Doulas were not popular in North America until the late 1980's and that's when my kids were born; however I did not know about this amazing resource.
After working with several families and seeing their same yet unique challenges with a growing family, I wish I had had the help of a Nanny or a Postpartum Doula along with me for the ride. I would have loved someone to just make me a cup of tea and piece of toast. I would have appreciated their knowledge on how to properly latch my baby for breastfeeding, to avoid those cracked and sore (ah, don't touch) nipples. The list goes on and on in my head how I would have truly benefited from the support and professional care.
My advice is simple: Don't wing it on your own. Don't wait to see if things get better.
DO something for you and your family to make things easier.
You are strong.
Make the decision to ask for help. You will feel the relief of stress as soon as you do.
Right here with you,